sigh.
how is it, sometimes, you can work and work for that something that you want, and then turn back and realize that what you've done is not what you want?
life is like a road of barbed wire. you can see what's beyond that, and you want what's beyond that, but you crash repeatedly into those sharp vicious points, till you're bleeding all over and ready to give up. and then those people who have crossed over to the other side come and whisper in your ear, and tell you to climb over the stupid thing. and then you realize how dumb you've been. and you see the survivors dancing happily without a scratch on them, and you feel like going over and ripping them to shreds because they got what you suffered so much for without sacrificing anything at all.
okay i'm nonsensical and rantyish and angtsy. gaahs.
i'm tired of studying. how can i be tired of something that i haven't even started. okay i'm tired by the idea of studying.
i wanna stay at home all day, cuddle my dogs and watch movies while going out for CIP. i think i should be a housewife. ): and maybe do the occasional required baking and cleaning. okay i think i should be a rich housewife. with a plastic surgeon as a husband preferably. actually that would be quite stressful.
my results are getting me down.
SIGH.
baby just close your eyes
i can't take the sorrow.
